Kiss
Puke
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
