conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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