A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
