he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
