You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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