The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
