I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
