wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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