Have you finally orgasmed yet?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
