Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she pinky promised me she was 18
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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