Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
