my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
