There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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