shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
