if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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