Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
