she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
