I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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