can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
