I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
