if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
