turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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