How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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