pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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