My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
