We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize