I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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