He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
