I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It all started with a game of naked twister.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize