i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
