apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize