I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
