His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
