i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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