Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
