You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
