thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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