I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
