just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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