did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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