he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
