If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
