it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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