I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
