Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
