Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Of course I have a pirate flag
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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