I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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