id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
