how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
