So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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