Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
