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i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
