after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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