the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
