sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
