I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize