Where did you get a picture of my penis
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
