Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
